do you say, finally! I will say I'm in love, yes, I love crazy! O me! this word I write for the first time, this word so often sought and always denied, would die to have the comfort of hearing it only once from that which inspires, and yet it is necessary to refuse it without blinding! No doubt he's going to doubt my feelings, and believe it has reason to complain about it. I'm very unhappy! Do not you by any chance is so easy to read whatgoing on in my heart and reign there? Yes, I suffer less, if I knew what I suffer, you yourself, who say it may not yet formed but a feeble idea.
Within a few moments I will run away from him and sad. At the same time believe to be by my side, I shall be far away from him. When it was accustomed to see him every day, I will be at sites where there has never been, and where I should not allow to come. Already made all my preparations, everything is before my eyes, and I can not fix on anything that I post my cruel game. Everything is ready except me! ... and the more you deny my heart out, the more evidence the need for it. The
certainly will realize, for better mortoo happy if you lose it? Till forever doomed to misfortune and mine not to dare not to complain or to comfort, to defend every day of it and against myself, strive to cause her pain, when he wanted to devote all my care to their happiness, to live well , did not die a thousand times? Here, however, the fate that awaits me. However I know cope, and I will have courage. Oh! friend of mine, whom I have chosen a mother, you receive the oath that I run it. You also receive that does not hide any of my actions, receive it, I beg you, and I ask as I have need relief, and forced to tell all, get used to always believe in front of you. Its virtue will supply to the mine. Never consequencesHorned make it less frequent! But losing everything at once! And forever! Oh, my friend! ... But even now I write this I let them still, my feelings criminals! Ah! party, parties, and that these sins are atoned for my involuntary sacrifice.
Farewell, my worthy friend; quiérame you and your daughter, adópteme for that, and be sure that, despite my weakness, desire to die rather than make me unworthy of your choice.
De .., to October 3, 1917 ... at one in the morning.
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